#1 According to John Gray author of Mars and Venus, men have a primary need to be need by a woman. The overly independent woman needs no man and boasts it proudly. She has her own car, house, money, etc. On its own that's fine, there is nothing wrong with being a grown woman. The problem comes in when a man, a real man needs to be a man. Which includes opening doors, paying for dates and being the provider. When she does not allow him to do that he becomes a boy and boys have no business with grown women.
#2 Recently BET and the Tom Joyner Morning Show have open congratulated and awarded single mothers. By doing such it indicates that single parenthood is a trophy, something that should be obtained and it shouldn't. Yes single mothers can raise children, my mother did before she remarried but that is not something we should hold up. Why don't we award young couples that have been married 5-10 years or married couples that put their kids through college. If that were the case don't you think more people would strive for it? Yea, 50% of all marriages end in divorce but that also means 50% succeed so these couples do exist.
#3 Currently there is no balance in the media. As it stands we are so caught up in up lifting Black women with programs like Black Girls Rock that little Black boys have nothing positive in the media to strive for. It should be equal. I liked the idea of the program but couldn't help but wonder, "Does anyone appreciate Black men enough to say that we rock too?" Think about it. According to Wall Street Journal last year there are only 900,000 Black men in college to 1.4 million Black women and we won't even get into the discussion of graduation rates. Black men need encouragement too because without it, these strong women will end up with weak men and the cycle will continue.
We must realize that there is a cause and effect to everything we buy, watch and listen to. None of the conditions that we face today are by chance alone. When we start to pay attention to the causes of our dilemma rather than the effects, perhaps then we can be more proactive in ending them altogether.
Treat the cause, not the symptoms.
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My beautiful sister and I.
Now now. It seems so easy for men to get into their feelings about this. The title gets me first--- ..."Get Off Your High Horse and Let Us Carry You", for why? Why can't it be "Get Off Your High Horse and Walk Next To Me"? Men never wanna see the equality in relationships and always "let me take care of you" when women are fully capable of taking care of their damn selves. Why is it never, "let's take care of each other"?
ReplyDeleteNow for you comment about single motherhood. Single mother's should absolutely be celebrated. It's hard to be a single mom and you shouldn't ever take anything away from what they do. No woman WANTS to be single mom, so her making her kids a priority should be applauded. That takes nothing away from two parent homes as life is supposed to be easier when you have a partner to raise your kids.
Lastly, I think "Black Girls Rock" is AMAZING, and I love it because it was created by women. Should women not celebrate womanhood because it leaves the boys out? Where are the boys to celebrate manhood? Perhaps that's where the problem lies. Men are quick to say that women cant raise boys up to be men, but then it seems like it's our "job" to empower men to be better men too? Interesting. Sounds like men are slacking a bit to me.
Thank you for your comment! In-dept opinions like these, I think make me a better writer and give me a greater perspective topics discussed. :-.)
ReplyDeleteBlack Girls Rock, as I stated "I liked the idea" and I certainly don't think it should stop just because Black boys don't have a show. Black men need to just come together and make a show that's all. Equality should NEVER be achieved by bringing others down to the same level but lifting them up.
On single motherhood, I don't think we should "take away" or shun it. But I feel two parent households should be praised a lot more than they are. No one wants to be a single mother...its sad to say but in the 2 years I have mentored in VA middle schools 46% of the girls survey wanted to be single moms over marriage to collect child support. There is also a documentary entitled "Men Ain't Boys" that features a small segment on it as well.
In relationships, of course there is balance. Ideally there is the, as you stated "let's take care of each other". Not every woman is the Miss Independent and the average Black woman certainly isn't of this type. To say or assume such would be ignorant of me. We are much more dynamic than that.
Lastly, yes Black men are slacking! My only point was that it isn't upheld nearly as much (and shouldn't). In the end both parties are to blame and by only uplifting women or men won't solve it. We must do both.